Match result
Result added March 21st, 2024
| Match notes |
There was a light drizzle falling on the goblin pitch as the Doom Divers lined up to kick with a home field advantage which saw a record crowd of 14,000 howling fans. The goblin coach appeared to have bags of gold in his dugout for the referee to inspect, and offered the umpires tankards of Bloodweiser from the keg. Settling in to watch his team kick to the uncomfortable humans, there was evidence of some brilliant coaching which gave the Ostermarkers a morale boost (and re-roll).
Receiving the kick, the humans went straight for the chainsaw wielding goblin and one of the trolls, downing both but failing to pick up the ball. With a scattering ball the Goblins saw their chance. They swarmed the hapless thrower and knocked him out. A wayward bomb (or was it?) blew up next to the Cockerell's Ogre, a troll and another goblin, causing general mayhem and leaving the ball unprotected. Desperate humans tried to get in the way of the bomber and knock over the remarkable number of goblins who appeared to have brought weapons onto the pitch. Eventually the ball was scooped by Davies who, with less armour than his fellow blitzers, proceeded to run for all he was worth. The Doom-divers threw everything at him - quite literally as bombs exploded and trolls hurled goblins (or tried to eat one - it's hard to tell sometimes). Ducking and weaving, Davies made it to the end zone by blitzing a particularly insistent goblin who joined his three compatriots in the dugout, having been KO'd..
The goblin coach was seen arguing, paying, and arguing with the referee, and fielded a complete team for the second drive (in turn 5). The weather stayed much the same and the field did not turn to a mushy swamp, much to the relief of the human coach. More brilliant coaching at both ends saw an equal start, but the goblins had brought some fanatical players, and soon there were bombs, chains and chainsaws everywhere. There was carnage. While the ball and chain player spun around himself more than seemed likely, players dropped and the fouling began in earnest with chainsaw and steel capped boots. As the half drew to a close, only four Cockerells were left standing, but the Doom Divers had been contained to the middle of the field, and with trolls dropping or scratching their noses, there was little that could be done.
At half time the referee found some courage and sent off several goblin players - much to the displeasure of the fans and the annoyance of the goblin coach who was paying bribes hand over fist. But a cheer went up as Max Power snuck back on again with his chainsaw.
The second half started with a forceful push by the Troll-led line as the goblins received and picked the ball with ease. More brilliant coaching from both sides, but a string of bad luck had the Goblin coach out of his seat (spending 2 re-rolls early on), and they were soon left with little but prayers to Nuffle as things began to go wrong. The humans began a campaign of counter-fouling, with their #8 sent off for a particularly nasty foul on a goblin of all things, which also earned him MVP of the game. The goblins in turn swarmed the big ogre, and using an ugly trick to fell him, they all jumped him in a bloody mess of a foul which will see him miss the next match.
Numbers were thinning and goblin feet tired and dodges became falls, and the ball was a muddy mess as Gorb took a nasty strike, but appeared to regenerate on the ground. The timing was fortuitous as the new catcher, #16 T. Werner, saw his opportunity to snatch the ball and run for the end zone from within Cockerell territory. The remaining goblins followed in pursuit, but there was little that could be done, and near the end of the second half the Cockerell catcher scored a second touchdown. There was just time to line up on the line of scrimage. Six weary goblins and 9 humans wathed as both trolls appeared to have taken one too many hits and just stood there. The scoreboard read 2-0, and as the rain mixed the blood and mud on the pitch, the teams walked off, thanking Nuffle that today was not their day to be carried home - or fed to the home audience. |
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